When The Smoke Clears

Is anyone out there really good at writing resumes? If you are, please contact me. Or if you're just good at spinning webs of bull, let me know. I'm trying to update my resume so that I can send it out and hopefully find a new job, but I find the thought of crashing my forehead through my computer monitor much more satisfying than putting my daily work activities into words that make me sound good to future employers. (Maybe if I had any daily work activities that didn't involve this blog or Yahoo games, my computer monitor would remain intact.) Argh! Where's Shakespeare when you need him?!